When you find yourself in conflict with a loved one, do this exercise.

Decide that keeping the relationship in tact is more important than being right.

Flip a coin to choose who expresses first.

Allow for full expression of each party with these prompts, the other must listen quietly, with no interruptions, until the person expressing is complete. After completion the second person expresses starting with the anger prompts as well.

Anger:

I hate it when...

I am so angry that....

I'm fed up with...

I'm filled with rage when...

Disappointment:

I feel disappointed that...

I feel so sad when...

The thing that hurts me so badly is...

This is why it hurts me...

Fear:

Im afraid that...

What I'm truly afraid of is...

It scares me when...

It reminds me of...

Understanding:

I'm sorry that...

Please forgive me for...

It is completely understandable that...

I regret that...

I understand that...

Love:

I want to..

I forgive you for...

I hope that...

Thank you for...

I appreciate you because...

I love you because....

It is my desire that humans evolve to cause less and less harm to one another, until the day that we are all thriving and nourishing each other with kindness and love. Imagine a world like that.