Relational attachment styles refer to the patterns of behavior and attitudes that individuals adopt in close relationships. These styles are shaped by our early experiences with caregivers and can impact our adult relationships. The four attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized.

A secure attachment style is characterized by a sense of comfort and safety in close relationships. Individuals with a secure attachment style are able to trust and depend on their partners, and they feel secure in expressing their needs and emotions.

An anxious attachment style, often referred as Preoccupied, is characterized by a fear of abandonment and a constant need for reassurance. Individuals with this attachment style may be clingy and overly dependent on their partners, and they may experience intense emotions such as jealousy and anxiety.

An avoidant attachment style, often referred as Dismissive, is characterized by a desire for independence and a fear of intimacy. Individuals with this attachment style may avoid closeness and emotional vulnerability in relationships, and they may have difficulty expressing their feelings.

Individuals with a disorganized attachment style, also referred as Fearful-Avoidant, have traits of both anxious and avoidant attachment, which can vary depending on mood and circumstances. This leads to confusing and ambiguous behaviors in social relationships. For adults with this attachment style, partners and relationships provoke both desire for intimacy and fear of trusting and depending on others. They struggle with regulating emotions and often avoid strong emotional attachments due to a profound fear of getting hurt.

Developing a secure attachment style is important for building healthy, fulfilling relationships. Here are some ways to develop a more secure attachment style:

1. Work on your self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem may struggle with trust and vulnerability in relationships. By building a positive self-image and learning to value yourself, you can develop a stronger sense of self-worth and feel more secure in your relationships. I also like to say Self Faith, keep promises to yourself to build self trust first, and this will be the foundation you build trust of others upon.

2. Practice communication: Open and honest communication is essential for building trust and intimacy in relationships. Practice expressing your thoughts and feelings in a clear, respectful way, and work on listening to your partner with empathy and understanding.

3. Address past traumas: Past traumas, such as childhood abuse or neglect, can impact our ability to form secure attachments. Seeking therapy or counseling can help you work through these traumas and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

4. Learn to regulate your emotions: Emotions like jealousy, anger, and anxiety can undermine trust and security in relationships. Learning to regulate your emotions and communicate them in a healthy way can help you build stronger, more secure relationships.

5. Practice empathy and compassion: Building secure attachments requires mutual empathy and compassion. Practice being attuned to your partner's needs and emotions, and work on expressing empathy and understanding towards them.

Developing a secure attachment style takes time and effort, but it's worth it for building healthy, fulfilling relationships. By working on your communication skills, addressing past traumas, and practicing empathy and compassion, you can develop a more secure attachment style and enjoy stronger, more satisfying relationships.